After Sex
by NoShoesNoShirtNoSheldon
Summary: Each chapter is a different pairing right after they've done the deed. Suggestions for pairings now closed. NO ACTUAL LEMON. Up now: Human!Perry/Vanessa.
1. Phinbella

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.**

**First up, Phinbella.**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

She couldn't help but notice her room stank of sweat and sex. It was kind of uncomfortable, lying in her bed, raven hair plastered to her face and one naked leg sticking out of the blankets. Her breathing was still rapid, and she took a moment to regain composure, taking her eyes off the ceiling to glance at her partner beside her.

Phineas was staring at the ceiling as she had before, hands resting on his bare chest and fingers twisting, fidgeting with themselves. Isabella smiled at the sight of her sweetheart. "Did it... feel good?" she asked, a little hesitantly. She wanted it to feel good for him. She didn't want to suck in bed.

He shifted to look at her, a grin forming. "Yeah it did," one hand reached out to push a strand of hair from her face. "It felt awesome."

"Better than a blowjob?" she blushed at the contact, as if she hadn't been in the most intimate of contacts only minutes before.

"Way better," he met her eyes for a moment, before looking down at the sheets. "Did you, ah... did you bleed?"

She lifted the sheets up so she could look, and shook her head a moment later. "Doesn't look like it."

Phineas put his hand under the blankets and produced the used condom, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "What should I do with this?"

"Give it here," Isabella took it off him, making an identical grossed out face as she leaned over and dropped it in the waste bin beside her bed. The movement made her more aware of the ache between her legs, and she winced as she settled back into place. "I'm a little sore."

"Yeah, well," Phineas looked a little guilty as he put an arm around her and pulled her closer. "It's to be expected with your first time and all."

She snuggled her head into his chest, closing her eyes. "I'm glad we did it, though."

So am I," Phineas kissed the top of her head, one hand playing with a strand of black hair. "Hey, Isabella?"

"Yeah?" she didn't look up, instead focusing on his scent.

"I love you."

A smile pulled at her lips.

"I love you too."

Xoxoxo

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another Phinbella if enough people request it.**

**Please review in any couples you'd like! Next time will be Ferbnessa! **

**Review!**


	2. Ferbnessa

**Welcome back, guys. I got heaps of requests and I'll do each and every one!**

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.**

**This time: Ferbnessa.**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Ferb rolled off the pliant female body underneath him and came to rest beside her, breathing hard, one hand making sure the condom didn't come off as he slid out of her. He tied off the top so nothing would spill and then threw it across the room, uncaring where it landed. Vanessa sat up and reached for the glass of water on the bedside table, letting the covers slide down to her waist and giving him a great view. He watched her throat as she drank, and when she put the glass down, he met her eyes, watched them crinkle into a smile.

"Well, you weren't kidding when you said you were going to make me scream."

"I aim to please," he gave her a sleazy grin, making her roll her eyes and flick his arm. She twisted slightly so she could look at him properly, and he lay back. Her smile was full of warmth, satisfaction, and other emotions he didn't dare name. It made him avoid her eyes. "You do know this is just casual, right?"

Her smile faltered, but she covered it up in a millisecond, making him wonder if he'd just imagined it. "Of course I know that," she reached for his shirt, pulling it on and buttoning it up. "Like you said, we're just friends who fuck."

She stood up, his shirt covering down to her mid-thigh, and she looked rather fetching in his clothing. He detected a hint of bitterness in her voice, and it made him sit up and sigh. "Vanessa..."

"What?" her voice was sharp, knowing what was coming. She was in the adjoining bathroom, fixing her brown hair in the mirror and wiping the smudged eyeliner off her cheeks.

"We would never work, you know that," he pulled on a pair of boxers, made his way into the kitchen with her following. He poured two glasses of water, handed one to her, and then sat at the table with his own. "I'm not a relationship kind of guy. I like sex, and I like sex with different girls. You and I both know you wouldn't be able to deal with that."

"I know," Vanessa stared into the depths of her glass, face unreadable as she leaned against the kitchen counter. "But... what if you fell in love, Ferb? You think you'd never be able to give up fucking random girls, but don't you ever want to get married someday? I mean, at some point you're going to have to stop."

"Could you imagine me getting married, Vanessa?" he raised his eyebrows, tracing the rim of his glass with one slim finger. "You're so convinced that sometime in the future, everyone will find their one true love, get married, have kids and have a fairy tale fucking ending. What if I'm not interested in that? Maybe some people just aren't made for love."

"Finding another person to love and to be loved by is, like, a human instinct," Vanessa frowned at him. "Just like getting food because we're hungry."

"Now that's where you're wrong," he drained his glass, stood up and put it in the sink. Ferb then turned to her and wrapped an arm around her slim waist. "It's not the desire to love and be loved, as you put it, that drives us. It's mating that's the instinct. Human beings have to produce offspring to carry on our line, so we fuck. It's just that over time some people got the idea into their heads that it means more than it actually does. It's fine if you want to live happily ever after, but do that with someone else. Don't drag me into it."

"Fine," Vanessa pushed his arm away, stalking into the bedroom where she climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up. He followed at a more leisurely pace, sliding in beside her and turning off the bedside table lamp. Darkness enshrouded them, but he lay awake for hours afterwards, meditating on her words and feeling her sleeping presence next to him.

When his eyes finally started to drop, he turned so he was pressed up against her and let his head rest in the crook between her neck and shoulder, wrapping his arm around her. "If I were capable of loving," he muttered into her soft skin, "there is no doubt I'd be in love with you."

Soft breathing answered him.

Xoxoxo

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another Ferbnessa if enough people request it.**

**Please review in any couples you'd like! Next time will be BuJeet!**

**Review!**


	3. BuJeet

**Welcome back, guys. **

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.**

**This time: BuJeet.**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Buford strolled out of the adjacent bathroom, spotting the dark skinned boy sitting in the middle of the bed, knees drawn up and arms wrapped around them. Not that he could actually call Baljeet a boy after what they'd done. He was a man now, despite his small and fragile stature.

Baljeet was staring blankly at the wall, and only reacted to Buford when the larger man leant in for a kiss. He flinched away and let out a stuttered, "I am not gay, you know."

Buford rolled his eyes and began to pull his jeans on, focusing his attention on buttoning it and doing up his belt. "What, you didn't like it?"

"N-No, I..." Baljeet's cheeks flushed and he purposely avoided looking at Buford's bare chest, although his eyes were constantly tempted to stray there.

"You're such a cliché, dude," Buford's movements were jerky as he finished doing up his belt and turned to glare at the figure on the bed. "The homophobic little boy who loves taking it up the ass but can't bear the thought of admitting it."

"I am not homophobic!" Baljeet burst out, struggling off the bed and into his slacks.

"Oh sure," the other man snorted and grabbed a cigarette from his pack, lighting it and taking a drag. "Look at you. You're fucking shaking in your boots at the mere thought of you being gay."

"Just leave it alone!" the Indian snarled, dropping back down onto the bed, his slacks up but unbuttoned. He made no attempt to finish the job.

Buford sighed and stubbed out the cigarette, flicking it out the window before sitting beside his childhood friend, close but not touching. "Look, 'Jeet, you don't have to feel bad about this. Everyone experiments. It's a way of life."

"Try telling that to my parents," Baljeet's voice was a quiet tremor, and Buford turned to see a fearful look on his face.

"So you don't tell them anything," the larger man sighed and placed a hand on one dark arm, and the smaller one didn't flinch away. "You're either gay, bi, or curious, 'Jeet. And not one of those things is a reason to be ashamed."

"How do you do it?" Baljeet asked softly, dark brown eyes wide in question. "How are you so comfortable letting others know that you are gay?"

"Because I'd knock them out if they made fun of me?" he saw Baljeet roll his eyes, so he tried again. "Okay, look. I am the way I am, and if other people can't accept that, that's their problem. I got the best deal, 'Jeet. The only people who's reactions I cared about was yours and the rest of the group's. As it turns out, I picked the best friends because none of you guys cared, and because of that, I could face the rest of the world and their homophobic bullshit."

"But you are huge," Baljeet whined. "If they even said so much as one word, you would beat them up. I am just a weakling."

"Ah, but you're a weakling with a huge best friend," Buford grinned, nudging Baljeet's shoulder with his own. He was awarded with a tentative smile. After a moment of comfortable silence, he asked, "so... are you?"

"What, gay?" Baljeet once again flushed.

"Yeah."

"I do not know,' he gave Buford a side-look, hands resting on his knees. "I am still trying to figure out if I liked it."

"Want to have another go, then?" Buford asked. Seeing Baljeet's hesitant look, he added, "we can try more lube if you like."

There was a flicker of a smile, and Baljeet looked at him fully. "I..." he swallowed audibly, maintaining eye contact. "Sure. Why not?"

Xoxoxo

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another BuJeet if enough people request it.**

**Please review in any couples you'd like! Next time will be Buford/Ferb!**

**Review!**


	4. BufordFerb

**Welcome back guys. I had a mini heart attack when this was requested because... I cannot even... It's just a strange pairing. **

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.**

**This time: Buford/Ferb**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

"Where are you going?" Buford rolled over so he could watch his lover as the smaller teen struggled back into his jeans. Ferb was right next to the bed, and Buford took the opportunity to touch him, and he grabbed his arm.

"I'm going home," Ferb pulled his arm away and buttoned up his pants, reaching for his shirt. Buford was closer, so he sat up and put it behind his back.

"You're going back home to your prissy little brother, aren't you?"

"Don't talk about him like that!" Ferb growled, leaning in close so he could reach around the larger boy's naked form and snatch the shirt away. He stepped away again and yanked the material on, uncaring that it mussed his green hair even further. "What do you care, anyway?"

"You're always such a bitch after we fuck, Fletcher," Buford slid out of bed and yanked on a pair of boxers, before picking up a football and casually throwing it into the air and catching it again. "Maybe it's because you feel guilty about lying to your innocent little brother that you're a fag."

"Not as much as you are," Ferb shot back, standing in front of the mirror and trying to fix his hair. "And I'm not lying to him. I'm just... not mentioning it."

Buford approached from behind and wrapped an arm loosely around Ferb's waist, ignoring the other boy's attempts to shove him off. "Come off it, you know you're terrified he'll be disgusted."

"Of course I'm terrified he'll be disgusted!" Ferb turned away from the mirror to face the tall quarterback, jade green eyes stony. "He's my step brother. If he finds out I like guys, don't you think he'll be... paranoid? We do still sleep in the same room."

"Which I think is fucked, by the way," Buford put his other arm around the British teen, lifting one brow. "But you guys are brothers. Just 'cause you're into guys don't mean you're into incest."

"Step-brothers, Buford," Ferb corrected with an eye roll. "Technically, we're not related. Not that it matters because, God, we grew up together!"

"So if he gets scared that you'll molest him or something, just tell him that," the brunet shrugged, ignoring Ferb's icy glare. "Babe, you're making too much of a deal about this."

"No, I'm not," the smaller teen pulled out of the embrace and turned towards the mirror again. "And don't call me that. I'm not your babe."

"He probably already knows you're fluent in fag anyway," Buford reached out a hand and helped to smooth down unruly green hair. "I could tell since we were thirteen."

"And it took you five years to do something about it?" Ferb snorted, allowing the other's hand to run through his hair as he stared at himself in the mirror.

"Didn't know I was gay till two years ago," Buford explained with a shrug.

"Okay, so it took you two years."

"Hey, what can I say?" the bigger teen grinned. "I was chasing after Baljeet for a while."

"Until he got a girlfriend and you refused to speak to him for what... Five months?" Ferb left the mirror and picked up his jacket off the floor. It smelled of Buford, which pleased him, but he also knew he couldn't go home smelling of other guys. He picked up a can of deodorant and sprayed it over the jacket. "That was really pathetic by the way."

"He led me on."

"So he's a feminine guy, that's not leading you on, Buford," Ferb turned to face to boy, who had started playing around with his football again.

"He knew damn well I thought he was gay," the brunet's face darkened slightly.

"But he didn't know you were gay as well... and interested," Ferb rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed. Buford set down the football, sat beside him, still only dressed in his boxers, and slung an arm around his smaller lover. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Buford broke it.

"You talk a lot more, you know that?"

"You must be rubbing off on me," Ferb shrugged. Upon witnessing Buford's instant grin and wink, his face twisted into a scowl and he elbowed the boy's side. "You have a disgusting mind."

"You love it," Buford caught Ferb's chin and pressed a kiss to his lips, pulling back before the Brit could bite him or do something similarly nasty. "Same time tomorrow, babe?"

"I'll think about it," Ferb stood up and walked to the door and through it, shouting over his shoulder, "and I'm not your babe!"

Buford chuckled as the door slammed.

Xoxoxo

**Hoping that wasn't too bad. Way out of character, I know, but honestly it kind of has to be when you write such an odd pairing. I'm surprised at how much I began to like this pairing just from writing it.**

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another Buford/Ferb if enough people request it.**

**Please review in any couples you'd like! Next time will be Perryshmirtz! **

**Review!**


	5. Perryshmirtz (Human Perry)

**Welcome back guys. I was overwhelmed with the requests for Perryshmirtz. I even got about three for Candace/Phineas, which is a couple I never even considered, but hey, I will do them all. **

**Just a quick note, I'm not all that comfortable with bestiality (although I do enjoy a well written Brian/Stewie once in a while), so its going to be human!Perry. Sorry if that's not what you wanted, guys.**

**I have, however, agreed to write another Perryshmirtz (where Perry is still a platypus) later on, due to many people whining that they don't want Perry as a human. It'll probably take a while, though. I still have a boatload of other couples to get through.**

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.**

**This time: Perry/Heinz**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Heinz wasn't all that surprised when he woke up alone.

He was lying in his bed naked, covered in just a thin sheet. His blankets were on the floor, thrown there after they'd gotten entangled and the bed's two inhabitants had grown impatient with them. Both his window and bedroom door were open, and he already had goose bumps on his skin from the searing cold breeze wafting in.

It was typical, of course, that Perry would be gone after having gotten what he wanted. That was always the way with him, even when he was still a platypus. He would always smash his way into Heinz's apartment, take what he wanted, and leave without so much as a how do you do. Granted, back then what he wanted was Heinz's defeat, but it was pretty much the same thing. Almost.

Still, it kind of hurt. In the brief second it had taken for the mad scientist to realize Perry was making the moves on him, his genius mind, if a bit idiotic, had gone over the implications, at lightning speed, of what it would mean to take that much of a step. For Heinz, it hadn't been a mad rush of desire that could be explained away as spur of the moment afterwards. He'd taken a few minutes to really think it over before responding to his nemesis' advances. He had knowingly put himself and their tentative frenemy relationship at risk of utter ruin, and Perry didn't even stick around to chat.

He was still getting over the fact that the agent could talk. Each time he'd heard him speak, he'd been surprised. Just before the actual sex part, Heinz had hesitated, wary of hurting the other, and the former semi-aquatic mammal had snarled, "do it!"

He'd been so shocked he'd done just as he'd been told.

And now... nothing. The newly human Perry had showed up in the late evening with no explanation for his transformation, completely and utterly used his nemesis for sex, and then left.

And Heinz was supposed to be the evil one.

With a groan, he stumbled out of bed, deciding it didn't matter at the moment. Right now what mattered was getting some goddamn coffee into him. He pulled on a pair of boxers and some slacks over them, but didn't bother with a shirt. He was too tired for that. He could almost smell the coffee already.

Actually... he _could_ smell coffee.

Confused, he made his way into the kitchen and his heart leapt into his throat when he saw the slender form of a young man fooling around with his coffee maker. His breathing stopped. This couldn't be right. This was wrong. This was...

"Put that down! You'll break it!"

If that damn platypus broke his beloved coffee machine, there would be bloody hell to pay. Perry jumped at his voice, but put down the machine obligingly and Heinz felt himself calm down. It was okay. His beloved was safe.

Once his heart rate had returned to normal, he walked up beside the man and checked over his machine. He was surprised the agent had figured out how to use it, because it was in pristine health and contained some seriously delicious smelling coffee. He poured two cups, handed one to Perry, and sat down at the table with his own, taking a deep gulp and letting it warm his insides and wake him up.

Perry leaned against the counter, nursing his own cup. Heinz watched him over the rim of his mug, and finally decided to break the silence. "I'll bet that's your first coffee, now that you're human and all."

Perry nodded once, taking another sip. There was an awkward moment where neither of them knew what to say. Sighing, Heinz tried again. "I thought you'd left when I, you know... woke up alone."

"You were crushing me," the agent replied with a casual shrug. "I don't know how you humans manage to sleep in the same bed as your lovers, but its suffocating."

"Surely you've slept in the same bed as one of your owners when you were a platypus," Heinz asked with a raised brow.

"My owners don't try to drape themselves over me," Perry was obviously trying to sound snotty about it, but a tiny smirk appeared before he hid it behind his mug.

"Point taken," Heinz stared into his mug for a while. "Alright, I'm just going to come right out and ask the obvious, but how the hell are you human?"

"I'll answer that as best as I can, as long as you tell me something first," Perry propositioned. Heinz nodded, so he continued. "As soon as you saw me, you recognized me straight away. Even when I was a platypus, you didn't recognize me unless I was wearing my hat. How'd you know it was me?"

"Erm," Heinz coughed into his hand. "Well, to be honest, I saw the hat and instantly thought..."

"Great," Perry said sarcastically. "So my only recognizable feature is a bloody hat."

"That's not all!" Heinz put down the coffee and held up his hands in a defensive manner. "I had my suspicions, but I only knew for sure it was you when I saw your eyes."

"Oh," Perry once again hid behind his mug, although this time it was a pleased grin rather than a smirk, and his cheeks reddened somewhat. "Alright then."

Heinz took the pause in conversation as an opportunity to give the former animal a good once over. His new form looked to be in its early to mid twenties, with messy teal hair that was almost long enough to cover intense brown eyes. It was those eyes that Heinz had recognized- they were exactly the same as before. Along with that, Perry was quite short, coming up to the scientist's chin. Granted, Heinz only slouched for dramatic effect during his little shows when he was trying to take over the Tri-State-Area, so he was actually pretty tall when he was just standing normally. Perry's body was slim and lithe, almost girlish in a way. But the older man knew from recent experience that there were parts of that body that were very, _very _masculine. He was wearing what he had been wearing last night- blue jeans, a plain black t-shirt and a black jacket.

Heinz's gaze travelled back up to Perry's face and flushed when he realized he'd been caught staring. Perry's eyebrows were raised, and there was a rather awkward moment. Heinz covered it up by asking, "where's your hat?"

"I have no idea actually," the shorter man shrugged. "I haven't had a chance to look for it. I assume you knocked it off at some point last night."

This mention of their recent actions had the evil scientist's cheeks glowing, but Perry didn't seem to be embarrassed about it. Maybe because he used to be an animal, he didn't view what had happened the same way a human would. Looking away, the older man cleared his throat. "You were going to explain your transformation...?"

"Oh, right," Perry scratched his chin and seemed to collect his thoughts. "Well, I can't tell you much, but a few of my owners are into inventing stuff like you are, and they managed to create a machine to turn me human. They were pretty excited about it, and were pretty crushed when I asked to be changed back after we'd talked, but turns out the effects are irreversible."

Perry rolled his eyes and stared at the wall behind Heinz. "Just my luck, right? Anyway, I figured they'd get into trouble if their mother found out about me, so I left. I didn't know where else to go so I came here."

"What about OWCA?" Heinz asked.

"Would have been fired on the spot," Perry grumbled. "Monogram doesn't like human agents."

"Fair enough," the taller man paused, and then his eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute... If you came here under peaceful terms, why the hell did you blast a hole in my roof? You do realize it costs to have that repaired?"

Perry shrugged sheepishly. "Force of habit. Sorry."

"Sure you are..." Heinz grumbled under his breath. He was still buzzing with questions, and he selected the biggest one, psyching himself up to get the courage to ask it. "Perry, why did you come onto me last night?"

Perry tilted his head, looking confused. "Well, I couldn't very well come _in_ you, now could I? I was the one receiving."

Heinz took a moment to understand what the man was saying, before snickering loudly. "Not what I meant, Perry."

"What did you mean, then?" the teal-haired main sighed. "I've learnt as much as I can about human ways from my host family from my days as a platypus, but my knowledge is still pretty limited. I'm guessing you meant 'come onto' in a sexual way, and my knowledge of that is purely from overhearing disturbingly detailed and disgusting phone calls from a teenage girl to her boyfriend."

Heinz could relate to that. The amount of times he'd overheard Vanessa having phone sex with her boyfriend... Even the memory of it made him shudder inside. But back to the question.

"What I meant was..." how could he phrase it without it sounding utterly crude? Oh, screw it. Crude was better than nothing. "Why did you have sex with me?"

At that moment, Heinz saw the first glimpse of embarrassment from his nemesis, and the agent indeed looked quite awkward. He coughed and scratched his neck before speaking. "Well... It's hard to explain. I certainly didn't come here with the intention of having sex. But when I saw you... well, when my_ body _saw you, it just... reacted."

"What do you mean?" Heinz coaxed.

"Strange..." Perry seemed a bit zoned out, before he shook his head and snapped out of it. "I have no qualms talking about us, but my new human emotions are telling me to be embarrassed about it."

"Ignore them for now," the scientist waved a hand impatiently. "Just explain."

"Alright. When I was still a platypus, there was always something... more between us. More than strictly necessary for enemies, or even friends," here the man made a face and pinched the back of his hand. "Why the hell am I getting embarrassed talking about this? It never even worried me before. Anyway, it never mattered because we were two different species and my body wasn't attracted to you. But now that we're the same..."

He trailed off and shrugged. "The rest is fairly self-explanatory."

"And that's why you jumped me?" Heinz raised an eyebrow. "Nice pick up lines, by the way. I'm guessing you learned them off that teenage girl you mentioned before."

Perry winced at that. "Okay, so I had no idea what I was doing," he crossed his arms. "Give me a break, I've barely been a human for a day, and I wasn't expecting the rush of... what's the word?"

"Hormones, probably."

"Right," the man nodded. "I wasn't prepared for the hormones, and I just kind of lost it. But as far as I can tell, you didn't try to stop me."

Here he looked at Heinz intently, as if he'd asked a question. Had he asked a question? Shit, was he supposed to reply to that?

"Erm," he scratched the back of his neck. "Well, no, I didn't."

The conversation lapsed again, and Perry drained the rest of his coffee, placed the mug on the bench, and then walked over to where Heinz was sitting. Without any sort of warning, he leaned down and pressed a warm kiss to the other's mouth, and the scientist could taste the coffee on the man's lips. When they pulled away, he stuttered, "w-what was that for?"

"Is that not customary?" Perry shrugged. "Whenever my adult owners woke up in the morning after having sex, they'd have some coffee and conversation, and then they'd kiss. I figured it was just a thing everyone does."

"Its different for each couple," Heinz explained. "You didn't really have to do that."

"Interesting," Perry nodded once. "Given the situation, is it normal that I wanted to do it, even though I didn't have to?"

"Somewhat..." Heinz answered cautiously. "Obviously you're attracted to me, and me to you, after what we just did. But it could be categorized as a one night stand, and kissing the morning after is definitely weird in that situation."

"What's a one night stand?" Perry frowned.

"It's when two people have sex and then go back to their normal lives as if it never happened."

"I don't want that," Perry said firmly.

"Neither do I," said Heinz quietly, with a little smile.

"So what is this, then?" the former platypus asked curiously.

"I'm not sure," here the taller man tried to hide a grin. "But I think whatever this situation is, kissing is _definitely _okay."

"Well, that's settled then," Perry leaned down and kissed him again.

He still tasted of coffee.

Xoxoxo

**Phew! That was a long one. A treat for all you Perry/Heinz shippers out there. **

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another Perry/Heinz if enough people request it.**

**Please review in any couples you'd like! Next time will be Candace/Phineas! (A wee note, if you don't like incest, just skip that chapter. The one after that will be Ferbella, so a relatively normal and safe pairing.)**

**Review!**


	6. CandacePhineas

**Welcome back guys. This pairing is a little... strange for me, but I'll try my best to do it justice. Phineas is around 17 here, Candace in her early twenties. **

**WARNING: this chapter contains incest! DO NOT READ IF THAT IS NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA.**

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.**

**This time: Phineas/Candace**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Candace never knew boyfriend had such a dirty side.

It started when he slid into bed. Well, actually, it might have started when her family had a barbeque and they'd both gotten trashed. But he hadn't actually made any advances on her, so she'd just gone to bed. An hour later and he had followed, one arm going around her waist and one hand pressing something against her mouth. Confused, she had opened it to ask what the hell he was doing, but that only caused him to shove the object in.

'Shh,' he'd murmured, his voice so low it was unrecognizable. It had taken her a moment to figure out it was a gag. This had made her relax a little, but she was still a bit weirded out.

After the actual sex, she found herself collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily through her nose. It had been absolutely mind blowing. So different to the timid sex she was used to. Sure, it was a great ego booster when he'd run his hands over her like she was the most beautiful and delicate thing in the world, but after a while it got a little tiring. Another thing that had been better was he hadn't spoken once, just used his hands to direct her into the position he wanted. Usually he talked non-stop, and that was certainly more than just a little tiring.

One of his hands went to the back of her head and tugged at the material there, untying the gag. It dropped out of her mouth and she picked it up. It was so dark she couldn't actually see it, but she knew it wasn't goodbye. Oh yes, she'd be using this a lot from now on. Smiling, she placed a kiss on his chest. "Never knew you had that in you, Jeremy."

At the sound of her voice, Jeremy's whole body stiffened, and he shoved hard at her shoulders, causing her to slide off him and land on the mattress beside him. "Jeremy, what the hell!"

She heard him fumble for the lamp and switch it on, light seared her eyes for a moment, and then she saw it wasn't Jeremy at all. Her mouth went dry and she automatically grabbed at sheets to cover her naked body. Not that there was any point. "PHINEAS! WHAT THE FUCK!" she screamed.

"I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU, CANDACE!" Phineas bellowed, shifting so he was as far away from her as he could without actually falling off the bed. It seemed he too was reluctant to actually get up, lest she see him naked. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN ISABELLA'S BED?"

"This isn't Isabella's bed, you moron!" her voice dropped to a whisper after Ferb began banging on the wall, a clear sign that they were being too loud. "She switched with me after finding a spider in the wardrobe!"

"Why the fuck did nobody tell me?" he hissed back, but his anger had already drained out of him. Candace could see it being replaced by revulsion and horror. "Don't you think I should have been informed so I didn't, oh, you know, accidentally screw my _sister_?"

It was weird, hearing such bad language from him. Although that shouldn't have been, considering he'd just given her multiple orgasms by gagging her and having his way with her. Her already delicate sanity was stretched to the limit, and she decided she didn't want to discuss the moral details of what they just did. Huffing a bit, she pulled the blankets up to her chin and glared at him. "You make a habit of gagging your girlfriends?"

Actually, everything all made sense now. His body was different to Jeremy's. Not drastically, but enough for her to notice. She'd just chalked it down to her being drunk. The sex and the shock of finding out it was her brother had sobered her up considerably, but she was still a little light headed, enough that she was actually letting her eyes roam over his bare chest, remembering how she'd run her hands over it minutes before.

Phineas crossed his arms, and the movement made her eyes snap back up to his face, flushing a little. He didn't seem to notice. "What I do with my girlfriend is none of your business."

"It seems it is," oh, she was looking forward to the fight this would bring. "Considering you did it with me as well."

"Yeah, well," Phineas was obviously searching for a way to get her back for that comment. "No wonder Jeremy's always so laid back, considering what you're like in bed."

They both winced. That was definitely not the right thing to say. Candace was used to receiving compliments about her performance from Jeremy, and they always pleased her. It was a hell of a lot different receiving compliments about her performance from her brother.

Why on earth couldn't it have been Ferb? She would have been totally okay with accidentally fucking Ferb. He was, after all, not blood related. And a British god.

But that wasn't the point.

The point was, she fucked her brother. Her blood brother. And she had _enjoyed _it.

Besides, the Ferb thing wouldn't have worked, anyway. He didn't have a girlfriend. And with the way he dressed and spoke, she doubted he ever would. Most likely, she'd be getting a step-brother-in-law from him. Not a sister-in-law.

A thought struck her. She glanced over at her brother and cleared her throat. "Uh, you did use a condom right?"

"No," he sounded petulant, like a spoilt child. "Isabella's on birth control."

"Great," she buried her head in her hands. "I'm going to get pregnant and have a mutant baby. Wonderful. My life is complete."

She felt like crying, she really did. But when the first sniffle came, Phineas immediately scooted closer and put an arm around her, murmuring, "please, for the love of God, don't cry, Candace."

They both stiffened when they realized her hands were no longer holding up the blankets and they had pooled at her waist, revealing her bare chest. Phineas cleared his throat and looked away as she yanked up the covers again. "This is fairly obvious," she started in a wavering voice, "but if you tell anyone, I kill you."

"I'm not that stupid," he snorted.

"I mean it," she hissed. "Not anyone. Not even Ferb."

"Okay! I get it!"

His arm was still around her shoulders. Despite the awkwardness, embarrassment and horror of what they'd unknowingly just done, the contact was kind of relaxing. She should be moving away and finding her clothes, but instead she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"If I weren't so drunk, I'd be kicking your ass right now," she muttered. It was a lie and they both knew it. She was only vaguely tipsy now.

"If I weren't so drunk, I'd be running right now," he countered. Yet another lie, but she didn't call him out on it.

"This is wrong," she sighed, but she couldn't find it in herself to move.

"I know."

A brief pause.

"So, am I better than Jeremy?"

"Phineas!" she squealed, flushing bright red and shoving him away from her.

Candace never knew brother had such a dirty side.

Xoxoxo

**So out of character.**

**Like I said before, with such weird pairings, you kind of have to make it that way.**

**I hope you enjoyed, all you weirdos that requested it.**

**(Okay, so _maybe _I enjoyed writing it. Don't judge me.)**

**Brief explanation of what happened, in case it was too confusing: Candace lives with Jeremy, but Linda and Lawrence had a barbeque and invited Candace and Jeremy. Phineas invited Isabella. Ferb invited nobody because he's such a loner.**

**Haha.**

**Anyway, Candace and Isabella switched rooms and forgot to tell Phineas. Candace went to bed early because she was frustrated that Jeremy wasn't responding to her flirting. Isabella went to bed a little bit afterwards and Phineas decides to have a little fun and follows after about 45 minutes. Thinking she's still in the room Linda and Lawrence gave her, he gets into bed and instead finds Candace. He's too drunk to notice the difference and things happen. You know what things ;P**

**Also, Phineas is a dirty, dirty boy.**

**And Candace liked it.**

**Okay, that's too much chocolate for me.**

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another Phineas/Candace if enough people request it.**

**Please review in any couples you'd like! Next time will be Ferb/Isabella!**

**Review!**


	7. Ferbella

**Whoever requested this pairing, I am not amused. I hate this pairing with a passion. Damn me and my stupid promise to do all the requests. **

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.**

**This time: Ferbella**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

"Don't think this changes anything."

Ferb sat upright in the bed at Isabella's words, a frown marring his face as he watched her get up and start searching for her clothes. One hand lifted to run through his already ruffled green hair. "Changes what?" he was being deliberately stupid, and they both knew it. But it needed to be said.

"I'm still desperately in love with your brother," Isabella began curtly, yanking on her panties. "And he's still in love with someone else-"

"We don't know that for sure," Ferb said lightly.

"Oh please, he's always off god-knows-where and won't tell either of us where he's been or what he's been doing, it's obvious he's meeting with some girl," the ravenette sneered. Her jealousy always brought out the worst in her, especially after years of unrequited love and pain.

"Still," Ferb sighed.

"Back to my original point," Isabella located her bra and put it on. "I'm still in love with him, he's not interested, and this is purely sex because I need to get my rocks off. Got it?"

"You forgot to mention my feelings," the boy tried his best not to sulk. He crossed his arms over his bare chest and leaned against the headboard. "I'm still in love with you."

"And that has got to stop, Ferb!" Isabella sighed and sat on the bed, reaching out to grab his hand. She was still only in her bra and panties, and it was hard for the teen to take his eyes off her body to look at her as she spoke. "You know I don't feel that way about you."

"Stop," his voice became hard and cold, and he yanked his hand out of her grip. "Jesus, Isabella. Put yourself in my shoes, won't you? How would you feel if Phineas fucked you and then gave you that exact speech?"

The girl blinked and turned her face away, his words hitting home. "...Ferb," she said after a long pause. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for things to get this out of control."

"What happened to you?" Ferb wondered softly. "You were so happy and bubbly and nice. Now you're just..."

"What, a bitch?" Isabella suggested. "A user? Uncaring? Cold? That's what happens when you're so in love with someone for so long, and thinking that maybe it could work out, and then realizing he has no fucking interest in you at all. That tends to suck all the bubbliness out of you."

"He doesn't deserve you," the British teen sighed, reaching out to take her hand. She pulled it out of reach and stood up.

"Listen, I have a cheerleading meet pretty soon, I have to go."

"I wondered why you were in your uniform," a slight smile tugged at his lips as he watched her dress. Her words and actions told him very clearly that any discussion of feelings was over. It was time to go back to being just friends. Maybe not even that.

"Yeah, okay," she sounded vague, distant. As if she wasn't even listening to him. "I'll see you tomorrow at school, alright?"

She didn't even wait for his answer. She just swept out of the room and closed the door behind her. Ferb lay back down on the bed and closed his eyes. For a moment, she had been his. Just a moment.

Maybe that would be enough to hold him.

Xoxoxo

**Angst! And bitchy!Isabella! This is what happens when I write pairings I dislike. It always turns out angsty. Sorry to those of you who wanted romance. **

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another Ferb/Isabella if enough people request it. (No, actually, I won't. It hurt me deeply just to write this.)**

**Please review in any couples you'd like! Next time will be Phineas/Ferb!**

**Review!**


	8. Phinerb

**IMPORTANT: suggestions for pairings now closed. I'm swamped with different stories I need to finish and this is kinda slowing it down. That'd usually be fine, but from the amount of suggestions I'm getting, this will never be finished. **

**Whoever requested this pairing, I am forever in your debt. Favourite pairing of all time. Enjoy!**

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**Will do all couples suggested; yuri, het or slash.**

**WARNING: while I do not consider Phinerb to be incest due to the fact they are not blood-related, it still might not be some people's cup of tea. Also, this chapter contains a little bit more of the sexual stuff than usual. **

**This time: Phinerb**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Phineas had his face buried in his hands, feelings the waves of embarrassment sweep over him. Ferb was such a cruel brother. He enjoyed Phineas' torment. And, when the redhead looked up, he saw the satisfied grin on those sinfully sexy lips. "I can't believe you just made me do that."

"Are you saying you didn't like it?" Ferb reached out to trail his fingertips over the smaller boy's torso, making him shiver in response.

"It's not that I didn't like _it_," Phineas muttered under his breath, lifting his hand to slap Ferb's roaming fingers away. His body wouldn't listen to his brain, however, and he ended up gripping his brother's wrist loosely as those warm fingers continued to stroke his sensitive skin. "It's that I didn't like what you made me do _during_ it."

"I'm sure Buford and Baljeet didn't mind," Ferb's grin turned wicked. "In fact, they probably decided to do what we just did."

"You're gross," Phineas made a face. "I don't want to think about that."

Ferb's fingers closed in on one of the hardened nubs on Phineas' chest and squeezed, eliciting a gasp from the redhead. He dug his nails into Ferb's wrist and let out a shaky breath. "Stop that."

"Are you sure?" his fingers trailed down to where the sheets pooled at Phineas' waist, playing with them and drawing out the tension. "Do you really want me to stop?"

"Ferb..." his voice was more of a plea then a warning, and his brother chuckled, preparing to rip the sheets away. They were interrupted by Phineas' cellphone ringing. Ferb frowned, but Phineas leapt at the distraction and answered straight away, putting it on speaker for the green-haired teen's benefit. "Hello?"

"Phineas," Buford's rough tones sounded somewhat higher than usual. "What's up?"

"Uhm," he glanced at his brother. "Not much. Listen, I'm sorry about before, but you know how the game goes..."

"Yeah, I know," there was a pause and then what sounded suspiciously like a grunt. "It's okay."

Ferb's fingers landed on Phineas' knee, over the sheets, and he began to trail them upwards, causing the boy to squeak and cover the phone, hissing, "Ferb! What are you doing!"

"What?" the larger teen tried his best innocent look. "It's not like we haven't done it before. And besides, what do you think they're doing right now?"

It took a few seconds, but the meaning of his words sunk in and Phineas blushed bright red even as he scowled and uncovered the phone. "Buford! That's disgusting, man!"

"You did it to us," was the strangled reply, and they heard Baljeet let out a soft moan in the background.

"I'm hanging up! Goodbye!" Phineas pressed the end call button and threw his phone away from him, shuddering in disgust. "I really didn't want the mental image of him fucking Baljeet as he calls us."

"That's how the game goes, Phin," Ferb chuckled, his hand resuming it's exploration. "As you're having sex you call a friend and try to sound as normal as possible until they figure it out."

"It's a stupid game," his brother muttered, trying to ignore the hand on his inner thigh.

"Come now," Ferb leaned in to press feather-light kisses along the redhead's jaw. "You didn't seem to mind so much when I was pounding you into the mattress as you spoke to Baljeet over the phone."

A soft groan escaped his lips and he tilted his head to give the taller boy more access to his throat. "It's hard to be mad at you when you do - AH!" he shuddered as his brother bit down hard on his throat before licking and kissing the spot better. His control snapped and he buried his fingers in green hair, yanking Ferb's head up so he could stare into jade eyes. "This time, no more game, okay? No more phones. Just you and me."

"Deal," Ferb chuckled, only to be cut off as his brother kissed him fiercely.

Xoxoxo

**Ferb's a sadistic guy, feeling up his lover while he's trying to talk xD For those of you who got confused, the basic summary is: as a game, Ferb convinced Phineas to call Baljeet (and Buford) and talk to them whilst Ferb was fucking him, and he had to try and sound as normal as possible. Buford and Baljeet decided to pay them back by doing the same thing. That's pretty much it.**

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. I'll probably do another Phineas/Ferb if enough people request it. (Hell yeah I will. I love this pairing.)**

**Next time will be Candace/Stacy!**

**Review!**


	9. CandaceStacy

**Welcome back! Sorry it took so long. Been working on my Big Bang Theory fanfic. It's taken up a lot of my time and concentration. **

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**This time: Candace/Stacy**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Candace groaned as Stacy moved out from between her thighs, head emerging from the blankets covering them. The redhead was panting, one arm covering her eyes. Stacy watched her for a few seconds before reaching for her other hand, entwining their fingers together. The dark haired girl twisted so she was laying on her back next to her best friend, waiting for her to recover.

"Well," Candace managed after a moment. "That was- I mean- I wasn't expecting that."

Stacy gave her a grin. "Neither was I."

"But you've done this before," Candace moved her arm away from her face and sat up. She held the blankets to her chest, frowning slightly in confusion at her friend's words.

"I only gave a guy a blowjob one time," Stacy shrugged, mirroring Candace's movements. "I've never done anything else, and I certainly hadn't done anything other than kissing with a girl until today."

"Oh, yeah," Candace covered her mouth to try and stifle her giggles, earning a glare from her companion. "And what a blowjob that was."

"Come on, Candace, its not funny," Stacy groaned, looking down at their joined hands. The blanket had slipped down to her best friend's waist, but the girl didn't really seem to care. And why would she? It was nothing Stacy hadn't seen before. "It lasted about two seconds and then he threw up all over me."

This caused Candace to go into an even more intense fit of giggling, making Stacy drop her hand in order to cross her arms. She waited until her friend finished, and the redhead wiped her eyes, having cried a little bit from laughing so hard. "I'm sorry, Stace," she grinned. "Besides, you didn't get as much teasing as he did. Everyone called him Pukey for a whole year after that."

"No one would have even found out if that bitch Casey hadn't overheard me telling you about it and told everyone else," Stacy muttered.

"Hey, I'm sorry, but we did get her back for that," Candace reached out and took her hand again.

"Yeah, we did," this brought a smile to the dark haired girl's face. "You can be so evil sometimes, Candace."

"You love it," the redhead giggled. Stacy only rolled her eyes and leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to the girl's lips. She immediately responded, pressing back with equal enthusiasm.

They both heard the slamming door downstairs and jumped apart, eyes wide. "What was that?" Stacy whispered. "I thought you said your parents were away for the weekend and the boys were at a friend's house!"

"They were! I thought they were! Fuck!" Candace slid out of the bed and picked up the nearest item of clothing. It took her a moment to realize it was Stacy's, and she threw the bra at her best friend. "Hurry up! Get dressed!"

They both scrambled back into their clothes. Candace was cursing up a storm as she hopped around on one foot, trying to pull her jeans up. Stacy was giggling at her antics even as she zipped up her green dress. Boy she was glad she'd decided to wear that today. It was certainly easier to get on then jeans, if Candace's struggles were anything to go by.

Once dressed, they sprinted to the mirror to make sure their hair and make-up weren't messed up. Normally they wouldn't have cared, but smudged make-up and bed head would be a dead give away to what they had been doing. Candace looked fine, but Stacy's hair was completely out of control. The girl snatched up her friend's hair brush and began to tug it through her dark strands. When she deemed it tidy enough, they both rushed back to the bed and straightened it out. They clambered on and tried to act as if they'd just been having a casual conversation, just as the door opened and a cheerful Phineas appeared in the doorway. "Hey, Candace! We're back! Oh, hi Stacy."

"Hi," the girl waved nervously.

"Phineas, how many times have I told you to knock?" Candace sighed in exasperation. To anyone else, she would have looked completely composed, but Stacy knew her well enough that she was just as nervous.

"Sorry, sis. Just wanted to see what you were up to," the boy paused, sniffing the air. "What's that smell?"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," the redheaded girl stuttered, her body going stiff. Shit! They hadn't noticed because they'd been in there for so long, but the room stank of sex.

"It smells like sweat," Phineas continued. "And something else, I can't put my finger on it."

"Oh, well Stacy and I had a pillow fight before, maybe that's it," his sister supplied, hoping he'd take the excuse and leave.

"Oh, alright," the boy smiled. "Anyway, Ferb and I need to get started on the project we're doing today. We're holding our own mini Olympic Games! We'll see you later!"

Phineas closed the door behind him and they could hear his footsteps growing fainter as he went back downstairs. Candace jumped up and ran to her window, staring outside where she could see Ferb in a hard hat, staring at some blueprints as a truck dumped supplies onto the lawn. A frown marred her face as she watched. "Oh man, they are _so _busted."

She began to head towards the door, fully intending to go downstairs to where she'd left her phone to call her mother, but a quiet sigh stopped her. She turned and saw Stacy, who was still sitting on her bed. The girl was staring at her lap, seemingly disappointed, and after a few moments Candace understood why.

Had she really been about to ditch her best friend after they'd just had sex, just to go bust her brothers? The girl shook her head in disgust at herself. Resigning herself to ignore the sounds of construction coming from outside, she crossed back over to the bed and sat down next to Stacy. "Actually, I think I'll let this slide for today."

"Really?" Stacy looked quite surprised, but also very pleased. A warm smile spread across her face.

"Really," Candace confirmed. "Now, what were we doing before we got interrupted?"

Stacy let out a laugh and leaned forward. They kissed again, this time a little playfully, and a little cautious due to the fact they knew the boys were only a staircase away from them. Candace had her hand buried in sleek dark hair, and she murmured against soft lips, "I love you."

"I love you too."

Xoxoxo

**I couldn't really make up my mind on what their relationship was, but eventually I decided they were secretly dating and that was their first time. I've never written yuri before (avast! You are witnessing a first for me!) so I hope this wasn't too bad.**

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. Requests are all closed. **

**Next time will be Phineas/Heinz!**

**Review!**


	10. PhineasHeinz

**Many apologies for the Ferbella chapter. I was kinda bitchy about that one, wasn't I? So I put a tiny little bit in this chapter (as a side pairing) as an apology. You evil people, making me feel bad.**

**Whoever requested this pairing, I am slightly weirded out but pretty interested as to how this will work. **

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**This time: Phineas/Heinz**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

"We can't keep meeting like this, Doctor."

Phineas turned from where he'd been looking out the window, dressed in only boxers. He was grinning mischievously at Heinz, who only rolled his eyes at the teenager. "You're the one who showed up my doorstep earlier this evening."

"Well, Candace chased me out of the house again, and Ferb wanted to have some time alone with Isabella, so I thought I'd come here," Phineas' grin widened. "Don't you like my visits, Doctor?"

"It's not that I don't like them," Heinz sighed as he slid out of his bed and pulled on boxers and a pair of black slacks. "It's Perry who won't like this. If he ever finds out."

A slight frown marred Phineas' face, and he turned back to watch out the window again, eyes following the specks rushing through the streets. "Candace has Jeremy, Ferb has Isabella, even Perry found a female platypus to get it on with. Why shouldn't I be able to have a little fun?"

"You know if he finds out things will end badly," Heinz grumbled, moving to follow his young lover, standing beside him at the window. "He doesn't know that we regained our memories of the second dimension."

"You make it sound like such a bad thing," Phineas glanced up at him. "If we hadn't, I wouldn't have remembered you. I wouldn't have sought you out last year. And then this," he gestured between them, "wouldn't have happened."

"Yes, it does have its merits," Heinz admitted, a slight smirk playing at his lips. "But if Perry or the OWCA finds out we remember, Perry will be relocated to another family and probably get a new nemesis. Neither of us want to lose him."

"I know," Phineas turned away from the window and sat on the edge of the bed. Heinz turned to face him but stayed where he was, leaning against the glass.

"Maybe we should be more careful about this," Heinz suggested softly.

"This sucks," was Phineas' muttered reply. "I mean, Ferb can date Isabella openly. Why can't I see the person I want without having to keep it a secret? It's so unfair."

"Phineas..." the sound of his name leaving the Doctor's lips caused a shiver to run down the redhead's spine. "You're the one making this unfair for yourself. If you went and found someone your own age, some nice handsome boy from your school perhaps-"

"Heinz," Phineas cut him off, voice harsh. His soft gaze became a steely glare. "How many times do I have to tell you? I don't _want _anybody else! Just you."

"I still think you're insane," Heinz muttered under his breath so the teen couldn't hear, although his cheeks were infused with a soft red colour at the boy's words. After a moment he let out a sigh and strode over to Phineas, capturing his chin in one hand and pulling it up so he could look down into those bright blue eyes. "If you want me so much, then you have to be willing to be more careful from now on. Are we clear?"

He saw the way Phineas' adams apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips. "Crystal clear," the boy murmured.

"Good," he bent further, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. When he moved to pull away, however, Phineas' hands lifted and curled themselves in his hair, effectively pulling him back for another, more intimate kiss. He felt his arousal flare to life immediately, but he managed to pull away enough to pant, "enough. We've already done this once today, you need to be getting home before someone becomes suspicious."

"I'm not meant to be home for an hour," Phineas argued softly, refusing to let the Doctor move more than a few inches away. "Come on, just one more time?"

Heinz pursed his lips, fully intending to say no, but those blue eyes locked with his and he felt his resistance melting away. "Fine," he conceded. "But only for an hou-"

Phineas cut him off with a harsh kiss which left him chuckling even as he responded.

Xoxoxo

**What a weird and wacky couple. I love writing Heinz all mature. He's just so adorable. And Phineas! What a cutie. **

**Hope you guys liked, this story will be under Phineas/Isabella but will feature many different couples. Requests are all closed. **

**Also, an IMPORTANT note here, I've decided I just don't have the right stuff to write any pairings involving either Django or Irving. I don't know their characters well enough (in other words, AT ALL) to be able to write a whole chapter on them. I apologize, guys! **

**I'm also laying down the law right here, I will NOT be writing any bestiality. If that's your thing, I'm not going to judge it, but I prefer my Perry humanized. Sorry guys. **

**Next time will be Baljeet/Isabella!**

**Review!**


	11. BaljeetIsabella

**Welcome back you guys. This couple is one I've only briefly thought about, and I drew a lot of inspiration from a Big Bang Theory episode. **

**But seriously, I have no idea how I'm going to do this. The following may be utterly horrid.**

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**This time: Baljeet/Isabella**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Isabella's eyes stayed closed as she breathed deeply, slowly but surely becoming more and more aware of her surroundings. The first thing she noticed was her head hurt- oh boy, it throbbed like crazy. She'd never had a headache this bad before. The second thing she noticed was that she felt nauseous, but not enough that she needed to get her butt to a bathroom to empty her stomach. The third thing she noticed was that she was naked. The fourth, and this was definitely the most worrying, was there was an arm slung over her waist.

Panic and bile made their way up her throat. What was wrong with her? The first time she went out drinking with her friends and she ends up in bed with one of them. At least, that's what she assumed happened. She didn't even want to dwell on the fact it might not be one of her friends. That it might be a complete stranger. The thought made her feel even more sick.

On second thought, maybe a stranger wouldn't be so bad. There were only four guys in her group that she might have ended up sleeping with, and all of them were bad news. Only last year she would have been hoping it was Phineas, but at the present moment, she hoped desperately it wasn't. They had dated for a little while last year but the break up had been messy and awkward. They stayed friends, but something like this would completely ruin that.

Ferb was just out of the question. He was like an older brother to her. After growing up seeing him as her future-brother-in-law, she still thought of him as family even after losing interest in Phineas. Sleeping with him would create so much tension and awkwardness, and besides, he was her ex's brother. That was just weird.

Buford wasn't like a brother to her, and they didn't have a messy past, but his gung ho attitude and blatant sexism meant that he would only be her friend. Ever. Isabella was very feminist when it came down to it, and the way he spoke about women sometimes made her want to hit him around the head with a baseball bat. She could only imagine how bad he'd get if they slept together.

Baljeet. She supposed he would be the best option, but it would still be incredibly awkward. The quiet teen had pretty much been forced to come drinking with them, and she vaguely remembered Buford spiking his drinks. He wouldn't say anything to anyone if they had slept together, but she knew they'd probably end up avoiding each other if it was him.

Oh god, she was in so much trouble. Fucking Buford and his stupid fucking drinking idea. She was going to kill him.

She forced herself to breathe evenly through her nose, trying to gather her wits. Her eyes were still closed. She needed to be ready when she opened them and faced whoever it was that she was curled into. Isabella counted to ten, steeled herself and opened her eyes.

She was in her bedroom. That was a start- somewhere she felt comfortable, at home, and safe. Drawing support from that, she took another deep breath and turned her head, craning to catch a glimpse of the person behind her.

Her breath rushed out in a gasp of relief as soon as she saw the dark skin and curly black hair. Baljeet.

"Thank God," she whispered.

Now that Isabella had solved the mystery of who she had slept with, it was time to get herself clothed. Her fingers went to the boy's wrist and tugged gently, trying to move his hand off her stomach. No such luck, his grip tightened and he moved even closer, murmuring in his sleep.

She tensed when she felt something, she knew what it was, press against her from behind. Well, that plan was out. Looks like she'd have to face him covered in just a blanket. With a long, drawn out sigh, she patted his hand. "Baljeet, wake up."

"Mm," the boy's arm around her tightened further, but there was no other response.

"Baljeet!" she elbowed him in the stomach and this time he jumped about a mile, immediately extracting himself from her and inching to the other side of the bed. She turned, keeping the blanket over her breasts, and stared at him.

"Wh-What on- what is-" he gulped, eyes wide. "Isabella?"

"The one and only," she gave him a tense smile, trying to ignore the pounding in her head. He looked just as worn down as she felt.

"Did I- I mean, did we...?" his eyes dropped to her body, which she was still covering, for the barest second before he met her's again. He gulped once more, looking freaked out.

"I'm pretty sure we did," she confirmed. While she didn't have any recollection of the event itself (just her luck, she loses her virginity and doesn't even remember it), there was a deep ache between her legs that signaled she had either had sex or someone had kicked her there repeatedly.

"Oh my god," he groaned, burying his face in his hands. "This is not happening. This is not happening."

Isabella frowned at him. She had been thinking along the same lines, of course, but it was still a little insulting that he was _that _freaked out about sleeping with her. It wasn't like she was disgusting or anything, was it?

Okay, Isabella thought. I'm going to have to make him promise not to tell anyone. I'm fairly sure he'll agree, but he needs to get it through his head that if Buford tries to bully it out of him, he'll suffer a much worse death by my hand than by Buford's.

She opened her mouth, but Baljeet bet her to it. "We can not," he said softly, "tell anyone about this. You have to promise me."

"I promise," she said easily. Anyone she told would just give her a lecture on the dangers of drinking and sex, anyway. Or tease her mercilessly. She was a little taken aback at the fact he'd made her promise, and not the other way around. "Listen, I just want to get this straight right now. Did we use protection?"

"You do not remember?" Baljeet glanced up at her, mahogany eyes wide and innocent. How could he look so innocent after what they had done?

"Not one thing," she shrugged, trying to act as if it didn't bother her. She was absolutely filled to the brim with shame, regret, guilt and horror, but like hell would she show it. She was strong, she could deal with this.

"You insisted on it," Baljeet told her seriously. "Neither of us had a condom so I distracted Ferb while you stole one from his wallet."

The image his words created brought a smile to her lips and she felt a little better. At least she wouldn't get pregnant, or an STD. Not that Baljeet would have one in the first place, because she was pretty sure he was a virgin before they'd had sex, and even if he wasn't, he'd probably be the type to always wear a rubber.

"Thank God," she leant back against the head board of her bed, making sure to keep herself covered. "It's going to be really awkward between us now, isn't it?"

"It is only awkward if we make it awkward," Baljeet nibbled on his lower lip before leaning over the side of the bed in search of his clothes.

"That's true," Isabella smiled slightly. She watched as he straightened back up with a pair of black boxers in his hands. He put them under the covers and there was a lot of shuffling around. Eventually he pulled the covers away to reveal he'd put the boxers on, and now semi-clothed, he stood from the bed and set about finding the rest of his clothes. He was surprisingly calm about the whole thing.

"Listen, 'Jeet, can you pass me my clothes?" Isabella asked. If he was going to act normal about this, then so was she. She'd treat him the same way she did yesterday.

"Sure," he picked up her shorts and shirt and passed them without any worries, but his face lit up in a blush when he picked up her bra and panties. She tried not to laugh at the fact he avoided looking at her as he passed them over.

Isabella got dressed under the covers like he had, and by the time she was finished, Baljeet had pretty much got himself looking back to normal. She jumped out of bed and opened her bedroom door, looking back at him. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom. Wait for me, okay? Then you can have a turn if you need to and I'll make us some breakfast."

"A-Alright," he seemed a bit surprised by her offer, and he sat himself down on her bed. She was smiling when she went into the bathroom. After doing her business, she took a few aspirins from the medicine cabinet before brushing her hair and teeth. By the time she'd finished she felt completely normal.

Except for the persistent ache between her legs.

She went back into her room where Baljeet was standing, looking at one of her framed pictures. It was a photo of the whole group; Isabella, Phineas, Ferb, Buford and Baljeet. They were standing in front of their high school, waving at the camera. She noticed that he'd made her bed and neatly folded some of her clothes that she'd left out the day before. "Bathrooms free," Isabella told him, and he jumped in surprise at her voice. "I'll be in the kitchen when you're done."

He nodded and hurried out of the room. She went downstairs, glad her mother was already at work, and pulled out her favourite cereal. She wasn't in any mood to do some proper cooking, so Baljeet would just have to deal with it. She grabbed two bowls, two spoons and a bottle of milk from the fridge. Baljeet had come downstairs by the time she'd finished.

"Thank you," he murmured when she handed him his bowl.

"No problem."

They ate in silence, not really knowing what to say. Baljeet's phone vibrated several times but he ignored it, instead focusing on putting his spoon into his mouth. Isabella guessed it was Buford. He would be asking where Baljeet had gotten off to.

The good thing about Baljeet being so... well... nerdy, was the fact that (coupled with Isabella's responsible nature) no one would really suspect they'd slept together. They could just claim he'd slept in the spare bedroom because his house was too far away for him to walk while drunk and no one would see through the lie. Someone, probably Buford, would make a few dirty jokes, but all they had to do was laugh them off and everyone else would be none the wiser.

"I suppose I should be getting home now," Baljeet told her once they'd put the bowls in the sink. Isabella nodded, running a hand through her hair.

"Do you want to act like this never happened?"

"Sure," he smiled nervously, and he seemed a little relieved. Well, wasn't that a blow to her pride. It wasn't like she wanted him to fall desperately in love with her or something, but it kinda surprised her that he wasn't reading anything into it. He knew full well it was a one time thing and wasn't looking for anything more. If anything, _he _was the one trying to make sure that _she _understood that.

"Thank you, Baljeet," she told him, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to his cheek. She was satisfied to see a small blush there when she pulled away. "I'll see you later."

"A-Alright," he touched her shoulder briefly before heading towards her front door. She heard it open and close and she sank against the counter, letting out a forlorn sigh.

Why wasn't he interested in her? She was used to guys liking her. He acted as if he'd just slept with his ugly best friend. She wasn't ugly. Was she?

Her lips pressed into a frown, she headed up to her room, making a decision.

She would make him want her.

Xoxoxo

**Boom! How was that? Wasn't sure how to end up, hope that was alright.**

**Isabella is an interesting character to write. She's got so much spunk.**

**Next time will be Candace/Jeremy!**

**Review!**


	12. Canderemy

**Hey guys! Sorry this took so long. I've been focusing on my other fics (namely the trilogy) and school has been pretty hectic, what with exams and stuff like that. Anyway, the idea for this chapter just popped into my head while I was sitting in the kitchen eating an apple. Hope you like!**

**I also decided to write from Jeremy's POV because I've already done Candace's like twice already.**

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**This time: Candace/Jeremy**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Jeremy felt warm and comforted in his little island of pleasantness. He was lying on his bed, his wife snuggled up on his chest, breathing softly in the way only she could make cute, and he knew he wouldn't have to get up for another hour or two at least. To him, these small moments in life were the best moments. Being able to sit back, relax, and appreciate all the wonderful things he had in his life seemed like a small miracle to him. He smiled, one hand lifting to card through long red hair, feeling like his chest was swelling with the amount of love and affection he felt for this woman at that moment.

And of course she just had to ruin it.

"I'm scared," Candace said softly, not lifting her head to meet his eyes as she spoke.

It was unfair of him to say that she ruined his perfect moment. While her talking did kind of take away the perfectness and force him back to reality, it wasn't like it was her fault. She had every right to be scared. He himself was terrified, and he hadn't gone through as much as she had.

"I know," he replied, pouring every ounce of love he had into his voice, hoping he could comfort her. Because really, what use was he if he couldn't even make his wife happy? "It'll work out this time, I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," this time she did lift her head to meet his eyes, and his stomach lurched painfully at the sheen of unshed tears in her eyes. Damn it, how could he let her worry to the point of tears? He was definitely not doing his job right. "You have no control over these things."

"I'm sorry," he sighed, shifting his position so he could lean down and kiss her forehead without hurting his neck. He cupped her cheek in his palm, running his thumb over her slightly parted lips. "I just have so much faith in your brothers. The kind of stuff they did when they were kids... They're incredible. This should be no problem for them."

"But what if it doesn't work?" Candace pulled out of his embrace and rolled over. He could tell she was starting to cry. She always turned away from him whenever she did so. She sat up and reached for her robe, tying it around her body before standing. He did the same, covering his nakedness and standing before she could hurry out of the room. He wasn't about to let her go off and cry alone. He needed to be there to wipe away her tears and do his best to stop them. That was his job.

"It'll work," Jeremy said in a firm voice, catching her hand before she could leave the room. She obligingly stopped but didn't turn to face him, so he walked around so he was in front of her. Just as he suspected, her cheeks were already wet.

"You don't know that!" she tried to tug her hand away but he refused to let it go. A sob escaped her and he drew her into his arms. Candace went willingly, burying her face in his neck. "I don't know if I can handle another miscarriage, Jeremy. Phineas and Ferb said the lube we used was supposed to fix it somehow but I just..."

She trailed off. He rubbed her back with one hand and buried the other in her hair. "They're geniuses, remember? If anyone can do it, it's them two."

"But it hurts so bad," she whispered in a trembling voice, and he could feel his neck beginning to get wet from her crying. Her shoulders were shaking, but she managed to keep herself from making any noises. "I already lost two babies. I can't handle a third. I can't."

"You won't have to," he pulled back slightly so he could take her face in his hands and kiss away the tears on her cheeks. "You're going to carry to full term and then you're going to give birth to a healthy baby girl and we're going to name her Amanda."

This brought the slightest of smiles to her face. He knew it would. She'd confided in him that as a teenager she'd planned out their lives before they'd even gotten together. Someone else might find that creepy, he found it adorable and alluring.

"We don't even know if I'm pregnant yet," she said, trying to make her voice light and cheerful, although it still wobbled slightly. She forced a smile and wiped at her cheeks. He knew she was just trying to keep him from worrying. Jeremy thought it was silly. It was his job to worry about her.

He chuckled and took her hand, taking her into the kitchen. "Well, in a couple of weeks we'll check," he sat her down at the table and went about making her favourite dessert even though it was mid-morning, "and if you're not, we'll have fun trying again."

Jeremy winked at her and she laughed. He felt a small amount of pride and being able to make her laugh even when Candace was in such a funk. He loved that he could make her happy.

"Oh, I'm sure we will," she smiled at him, her earlier tears seemingly forgotten. He knew she was just pushing them away, but he could deal with them when they emerged again. He'd always be there to support her. "You don't really have to make that. I'll be full before I even go out to lunch with Mom, Isabella and Vanessa."

He grinned and shook his head at her. "Oh, I was making this for me, actually," his grin stayed even when she giggled and punched him on the arm. For such a slender woman, she sure was strong. But he'd gotten used to it by then, and it was worth it to see her smile.

"You can't have that!" she mock gasped, making a grab for the strawberry ice-cream. "You won't be able to eat a thing at Ferb's bachelor party tonight! And we all know Buford will have that place bursting to the rafters with food."

Jeremy chuckled, allowing her to grab the ice-cream and take a bite. He reached out and dipped his finger in the dairy treat before smearing it on her cheek. She let out a real gasp this time. "Jeremy!"

He chuckled and she wiped it off and advanced on his with her spoon, threatening to wipe the excess dessert on him. "Come now, do you really want to get this robe dirty? You only just washed it."

Candace paused and frowned, before her face lit up in a wicked grin. "You'll just have to take it off, then. And maybe we should add some chocolate sauce to the mix."

"Ooh, food sex," he reached over to the fridge to grab the chocolate sauce, the idea exciting him too much to pass her up on it. "Kinky, I like it."

He chased her back into the bedroom, laughing at her squeals and tackling her onto the bed (making sure, of course, to wait until she set down the bowl of ice-cream). He was hovering above her, hands pinning her's above her head. She smiled up at him, expression so full of love that all he wanted to do was kiss her and never stop. It still amazed him that someone as amazing as Candace Flynn could really love someone as plain as Jeremy Johnson.

"I love you," it slipped out without thinking, but that was okay. It wasn't the first time they'd said it and it wouldn't be the last. If it were possible, her smile grew even more.

"I love you too."

Xoxoxo

**Argh! So much fluff!**

**How was that? I like writing Jeremy as the guy who thinks he's just so plain and so incredibly lucky to have an awesome wife like Candace. Even though he's so clearly awesome himself! He just doesn't see it. And how dedicated he is to her... so sweet. Definitely my favourite het couple, and my favourite canon couple. **

**Next time will be Vanessa/human!Perry! (Seriously? What a weird pairing.)**

**Review! Tell me what you think!**


	13. PerryVanessa (Human Perry)

**I'm really sorry for the huge wait. I'd like to say I've been busy with school, but I had like two months holidays and literally did nothing during them. I have been writing, just not my Phineas and Ferb stuff. I'm sorry about that, but Real-People Fanfiction is so addicting! I really got into Emblem3 fanfiction. And I'm not talking about the OC kind (*shudders* OC's, man. I hate them), just awesome slashy goodness. **

**Anyway, I'm making an effort to get back into my Phineas and Ferb stuff, so readers of my other stories keep an eye out, those should be updated soon!**

**How the various characters act around each other after doing the deed.**

**This time: Vanessa/human!Perry**

**Disclaimer: don't own.**

Xoxoxo

Vanessa was just reaching up to give him another kiss when his cell phone rang, the shrill beat of 'Behind Blue Eyes' echoing throughout the spacious bedroom. Perry met his girlfriend's eyes and she pursed her lips in a frown, taking his wrist in a vice-like grip. "Don't take it, for crying out loud. It'll just be something stupid again."

"And if I don't take it, he'll try to take over the Tri-State Area again, and I'll be called into work to stop him," Perry gently extracted himself from her grip and reached for the phone. "At least this way I get to stay in bed."

Vanessa huffed and rolled her eyes, rolling over to grab a hair tie from the nightstand and pulling back her long brunette tresses. "Fine. But don't take too long."

"Got it," he nodded at her seriously, which for some reason made her lips quirk in an amused smile, before he flipped open the phone and held it to his ear. "Heinz, what is it?"

"Ahh, Perry the Platypu-" Heinz paused and made a humming noise. "Perry the Platyman? Perry the Human? Perry the-"

"Does it matter?" the former semi aquatic mammal bit out through gritted teeth.

"I suppose not," the mad scientist admitted. "Well, Perry, I'm calling to say I'm very disappointed in you. I thought you were a traditionalist."

"What are you talking about?" Perry sighed, running one hand through his teal hair in exasperation.

Vanessa had pulled out her own phone and was typing out a text, so he figured their 'cuddly-couples-time' had come to an end. It was a shame, the woman hardly ever let him hold her for long amounts of time, something that puzzled him to no end. He'd seen Candace and Jeremy cuddling for hours and hours, and Phineas and Isabella were pretty affectionate as well. The only couple he'd ever met that didn't show affection like himself and Vanessa was Ferb and Adyson, but that was only because Adyson had serious issues with being touched. Perry hadn't really understood it until Phineas sat him down and explained what rape was. Even the thought of it still made him uncontrollably angry.

"I'm talking about your plans to propose to my daughter without even asking for my permission first!" Heinz exclaimed, sending waved of panic crashing over Perry, who immediately began to scrabble from the bed, hoping desperately that Vanessa hadn't heard anything. The evil scientist continued even as his nemesis yanked on a pair of boxers. "I must admit, I didn't believe Carl at first, considering he was drunk, but Major Monogram confirmed it!"

"How the bloody hell do they know about it?" Perry hissed as he slipped out of the bedroom. Vanessa had looked non the wiser, not even paying attention, so he was fairly sure he was safe. Just to be sure, though, he went into the kitchen where he knew she couldn't over hear. "I didn't tell them."

"No, but you told Phineas who told Isabella who told Carl," Heinz said in an offended voice. "That's not the problem here, Perry. I can't believe you'd propose without even telling me first!"

"I haven't done it yet!" the teal-haired man growled, pulling out a glass and pouring himself some water, all one handed. The fact that Isabella was talking to Carl surprised him- the last he'd heard, she was still pissed off from finding out her dog was a secret agent. "I haven't even gotten the ring."

"Oh," Heinz paused and for a short moment, there was blessed silence. Then the older man went and ruined it. "Well, what were you planning on using?"

"I don't know, I'm still unfamiliar with these things," Perry took a sip, turning and leaning against the counter and keeping one eye on the door in case Vanessa walked in. "I guess I was thinking about getting Phineas to help me."

"No, I've got a better idea," Heinz told him. "I've still got my grandmother's ring somewhere, Darlene gave it back after the divorce. If I can find it, you'll use it. Got it?"

"Sure," Perry blinked, surprised at the man's generosity. He seemed to have come to terms with the fact his nemesis and daughter were dating, which was a huge relief. For a few months, he'd been so mad he'd attempted to make Perry's life hell. "Uh, thanks, Heinz."

"Will you be taking her last name?" the man asked bluntly. "Because as proud as I am at being a Doofenshmirtz, I sure as hell don't want that to be your last name."

Perry scowled but didn't complain- he hadn't wanted to take Vanessa's name anyway. "I don't even know if she'll say yes, you know. But if she does, she'll be taking my name. Fletcher."

"You took Ferb's last name?" Heinz seemed surprised. "I would have thought you'd be a Flynn."

"Perry Flynn sounded too weird," the former monotreme shrugged, despite the fact his nemesis couldn't see it. "Although becoming a Fletcher would be awkward for Vanessa, considering her past with Ferb."

"Ah yes, they dated for a few years, didn't they?" the mad scientist sounded wistful. "I'd always hoped he'd be my son in law. He's handy with a wrench."

"What, you don't like the fact you might have a son in law that can kick your ass?" Perry shot back, a little ticked off at Heinz's comment. Trust him to ruin this entire thing for Perry.

"Now listen here-"

"Perry?" Vanessa's voice immediately got the teal-haired man's attention, and he instantly tuned out Heinz's psychotic rant, despite the phone still being pressed to his ear. His girlfriend wandered into the kitchen, dressed in a black robe, and smiled at him. "Are you two still talking?"

"Unfortunately," Perry answered dully, and heard the resulting 'hey!' from Heinz.

"Here," Vanessa took the phone off him. "Dad, I don't care what it is, but give it a rest. You've been calling every night for a week now."

Perry watched as she effectively cut off any argument the man tried to start and barked a few orders into the phone before flipping it shut. She smiled at him. "There, now we can have some alone time."

"Finally," Perry muttered, and was pleasantly surprised when she stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around his middle, leaning up to kiss him softly. When she pulled back, he raised an eyebrow. "Was there any reason for that?"

"Do I need a reason to kiss you?" Vanessa teased, her lips twitching into a grin.

"I wouldn't know, I'm still new to this whole thing," he shrugged, prompting her to laugh. "It's not _that _funny, you know."

"I don't know how the hell I got stuck with a platypus as a boyfriend, but..." she reached up and touched his cheek. "I'm glad I did."

He took her hand and pressed a few kissed to her fingertips, something he'd seen Phineas do to Isabella a few times. "I'm glad, too."

Xoxoxo

**Boy, that was short. But it's over a thousand words, it still counts!**

**Hope you guys liked, that pairing was a little weird to write. Mainly because I ship Heinz/Perry. Which is probably why there was so much Heinz/Perry interaction in this. Oh well.**

**Next time will be Linda/Lawerence! (Which is just... weird.)**

**Review! Tell me what you think!**


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